2010 / New Year's Resolutions

Overall, I have to say that 2010's been okay. Thinking back to the beginning of the year, I remember the good times from the end of sophomore year. Spending time with my friends was easy, much easier than this school year when I've been swamped with AP work. I enjoyed life more during Sophomore year. 

Summer was okay, there was just more work for the honors classes than the summer before. I still spent a lot of time with friends, but towards the end of summer was when the work started to get in the way. I had tried to get into a chemistry class at the community college, but due to the class size, I was one of the ones who was dropped.

It's okay, though. So Junior year started. Medical Science I, Chinese III, Orchestra Winds, AP US History, Pre-Calculus HP, and AP English and Language Composition filled my days. I always knew that my history class was going to be the most difficult. History was never my strong suit. Turns out, though, that the worst class ended up being English. Who knew that one "this isn't a real essay" would turn my C into an F. Now I have two weeks before the end of the semester, and the teacher said that the best grade I can hope for is a C. 

Drama's been great. The recent play The Matchmaker turned out to so far be my favorite from all my past plays. It was a costly production, but hopefully next year's productions can be just as great without so high a cost. 

So now for my resolutions. I'd like to stop procrastinating. Even over break, I procrastinated. I have to finish chapter seventeen of the cornell notes for my history class, and I'm in the middle of chapter fourteen. Wonderful planning. 

I'd like to get more work done, but that sort of ties in with procrastinating. I'd like to finish up at least more than one cosplay. I just need to keep myself focused and stop distracting myself with my phone, games, etc.

A few weeks ago, I started to feel really depressed, and I guess it's because the holidays have always been a depressing time for me since it was only in 2007 when my father passed. I'd like to be sad once in a while, yes, because it's sad, but I don't like feeling depressed.

Hopefully 2011 turns out better than this year, even though 2010 had some really great times.

What Happened to DeviantArt?

deviantART Loves You by *akreon on deviantART

I would have never found out about the issue going on on deviantArt if I had not browsed a page, saw this comic, and decided to read it. This comic changed my entire perception of the art site I once loved. I decided to check out the article that was mentioned in the artist's commentary. What even adds to the irritation is how much space deviantArt took in this blog post and only about half of that area is given to the art.

I'm irritated because as an unpopular artist with mediocre work, this limits my artwork from expanding past the pages of the internet. Sure, I could post it up on here, but out of my three watchers (all friends from school), does anyone even look at this? This is depressing.

On one hand, I feel trapped. All of my artwork was posted on deviantArt, with a couple exceptions where it was on my photobucket and from there linked to sites like gaia or facebook. I used to post my art on myspace, but stopped after myspace died (as well as the fact that I went on myspace only once a year). I feel like my work has less of a chance of recognition now. My most popular piece, below, has been featured in two journals and used as part of the heading on a website (you should check it out!). While this brings me happiness, it also saddens me, for it was a photograph. I do enjoy photography, yes, but the main reason I joined deviantArt in the first place was to share my artwork, more specifically my drawings. This should encourage me to leave deviantArt and find another art site, since I was feeling trapped on dA anyway. But that's another reason on how deviantArt makes me feel trapped. I would be completely new on another art site. I wouldn't know where to start, I'd have to learn everything all over again.

Three Roses by *PrincessPomeranian on deviantART

 This is where the other hand feeling comes in. Maybe finding another site is the key to stop feeling trapped. I've felt trapped by my artwork for a long time now, but I think most of that has to do with my OCD. The only reason my most recent deviations have been photographs is because I don't have access to a program to color my drawings. My OCD kicks in with my drawings because I refuse to let myself post them out of the order that they were drawn in. If I were to start over on a new site, I wouldn't have to update it with drawings that should have been posted a year and a half ago.

I hate having multiple accounts and I know if I get an account on a different art site it'll be just another thing to check and a different account may be discarded for the new art site, as has happened in the past. I certainly don't want to leave deviantArt for good, either. I have friends on there, I have added artists that I met at anime conventions to my watch list. I've been on there for well over two years (I would have an exact date but I can't remember my previous account's username) and through that I've been through much more than just posting art. There are actual people there that I enjoy having conversations with. DeviantArt has become part of my daily routine, in fact it's the first tab that's opened up when I log in on my computer. Leaving deviantArt would only make me feel more trapped by it.

Or it might not. Oh, goodness, I'm so confused right now. I know, I know. I'm just a teenager, my words mean nothing. But thank you, to anyone, if you've stopped by, thank you for just reading even a sentence or two, and a million thanks if you've read all the way to here. (: